Wedding Showers 101
How to Plan One and What Are the Latest Trends
As one of the honored members of the bridal party or family, it falls to you to plan the bridal shower. Once upon a time etiquette rules only allowed non-family members to plan this party, but it's now customary for moms and sisters, future mothers-in-law, or even a doting aunt to be the hostess as often as the bridesmaids.
When to Host the Party
Bridal showers are usually held sometime within two months of the wedding date. If many of the guests will be traveling from out of town to the wedding, you could hold the shower during the week prior to the big day. Otherwise, try to have the shower no closer than two weeks before the wedding so as to leave the last two weeks free for the bride to take care of all her last minute details.
Who You Should Invite
Bridal showers are a more intimate event than the wedding, usually reserved for the closest family and friends. Just remember, everyone you invite to the shower should be invited to the wedding. Unless the shower is going to be a surprise, it's fine to ask the bride who she would like invited to the party.
Traditionally, bridal showers were only for the ladies closest to the bride. But in recent years, many couples desire a party that includes the groom and other close male relatives and friends. This type of shower has been dubbed a "Jack and Jill" shower. With these couples showers, the food will be hearty and the decorations will be less feminine, perhaps with a theme.
Setting the Budget
A shower can be as simple or elaborate as your personal budget allows. That's why one of the first things you should do is decide what you can afford to pay for this party before the planning goes too far. With budget in hand, it will be easier to make decisions regarding number of guests, location, and food and beverages to be served. Sometimes all of the bridesmaids share the expense and hosting duties of the bridal shower as their gift to the bride. This permits more options for the party.
Choosing the Location
The home of the hostess or the bride's mother was often the location for traditional wedding showers. But the location possibilities have expanded from the (still acceptable) home party; to a picnic in the park, a fun option for a Jack and Jill shower; to a day at the spa. You need to think about your guest list, their ages, their interests and, of course, the interests of the bride. If there are many older relatives, a traditional shower held in someone's home or restaurant will be the most comfortable option for all. With a large number of young friends, an active party will be a great choice.
Sending the Invitation
The invitation for a bridal shower should be sent out anywhere from two to six weeks prior to the party, depending on its location. Invitations can range from formal, printed cards for an elegant party such as a tea, to easy-to-find preprinted cards found in a stationery store, suitable for a casual, home-based party. You should indicate on the invitation the theme of the shower if that will relate to the type of gifts expected. You may write on the invitations where the bride and groom have registered.
What to Do
One of the focal activities of most showers is helping the bride to open her gifts. Make sure one of the bridesmaids keeps a list of each gift and the person who gave it so that the bride can write a proper thank you note.
Very often short games are organized at a bridal shower to help break the ice among guests who don't know one another, and to fill in those times between eating, gift opening, and chatting. Games can also provide openings for guests to share their own wedding stories and advice with the bride.
The Menu
The menu you choose will have everything to do with the time of day you hold the shower, and the theme that you choose. A tea party is always a popular shower theme with finger sandwiches, tea, punch, and miniature sweets completing the menu. A spa based bridal shower lends itself to salads, smoothies, flavored waters, and fresh fruit. A barbecue with traditional barbecue meats and salads is perfect for a couples shower. The food will be satisfying to the men at the party, and standing around the grill is a wonderful activity for the guys who aren't interested in watching the bride as she opens presents!
