How to Write Thank You Notes

They're Simple to Write, Once You Remember a Few Basic Rules

One of the earliest etiquette lessons we teach our children is to say thank you. As we grow older, the importance of that early lesson never diminishes, but our way of expressing it needs to become more formal. It's often most appropriate to send a handwritten thank you note, and that's where many of us may stumble. Because we are so anxious to express our full appreciation, we can get paralyzed looking for the right words. Here is a simple list of rules which, if followed, will assure you that the words are "just right."

1. The most important rule for thank you notes, with few exceptions, is to send them as soon as possible after the gift or kindness has been received. Use a week as a general guideline.
2. Formal stationery isn't required except in the case of wedding gifts. Informal personal stationery, pretty note cards, or even pre-printed cards from the card shop are fine as long as a personal note is appended to the message.
3. In your thank you, make specific note of the gift or kindness received and the occasion upon which it was given.
4. Although casual stationery is appropriate under most circumstances, you shouldn't use any old piece of scrap paper lying around your house.
5. Don't feel obliged to lie about a gift that you dislike. A simple thank you and comment about the thoughtfulness of the giver is acceptable. If you exaggerate how much you liked the gift, you just may receive similar gifts in the future!